He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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