I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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