I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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