nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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