god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
