Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i just identified you from a description of your pipe

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(214): View more from Texas

Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before

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(916): View more from California

day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.

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(740): View more from Ohio

So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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(415): View more from California

I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.

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(620): View more from Kansas

The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.

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(253): View more from Washington

I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.

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