i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
