found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
