And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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