So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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