He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
