i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
