sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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