we should wear snuggies to the strip club
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
