I showed him my bush... on skype.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
