Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
