U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
