Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
