my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Buhtt sex?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize