Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
