we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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