I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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