it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
