I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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