woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
