I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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