I would go down on you faster than GM stock
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
