Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
