why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
