i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I faked an abortion last night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
