His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
