its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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