She's JV to your varsity
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
