Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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