we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize