Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
