Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize