This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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