Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
