Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So many bounce houses so little time
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize