I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
