Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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