my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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