You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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