i just had sex bonerless
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize