If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize