There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
