He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize