haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
