I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
