hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
