So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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