Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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