remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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