He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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